For several months, The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation has been conducting covert surveillance operations at a number of quiet country "farms" across rural America. Many of these establishments provide goats for petting zoos across the country. They seem like peaceful, wholesome places, but what we have found will shock you!

These "farms" are not your ordinary farms. They are factories which produce thousands of mentally disturbed goats which are then shipped off to torment the youth of America! The goats are raised on a diet of fabric and buttons, causing them to develop a lifelong taste for clothing. They are tormented and harassed by midgets at all hours of the day and night from a very early age, causing psychological damage and preventing them from being able to live normal lives.

When these goats reach a certain level of derangement, they are then distributed to petting zoos, where they carry out the effects of their warped upbringing by traumatizing children. Since the goats are no longer fed the fabric and buttons they crave, they decend upon the unsuspecting masses in a crazed frenzy to eat clothing. Children are most frequently the focus of the goats' attention as they are the approximate size of the midgets that persecuted the goats at the factories.

The crazed goat factories appear to be part of a sinister neo-Nazi cabal to destabilize American society by traumatizing an ever increasing proportion of American youth, a veritable time bomb ticking it's way into our future. The Foundation will continue to investigate this and report it's findings here on the Internet.